nondum in re, tantum in spe.

not yet in fact, only in hope.

-St. Augustine of Hippo

So, a person on a message board I frequent is in the midst of his annual trek through his entire iTunes library, listening to every song in alphabetical order. I've decided to embark on the same, hopefully spiritually enlightening journey. I started this morning...since it would take nearly two months to play through my iTunes library without stop, I'm estimating this project will take me into the beginning of the summer.

np: "Abidin'" by Daniel Amos

you can do anything with this
well if not i don't blame you
i'm all over the pavement
and here's the remainder

black crow yellow sky
red-eyed raven telegraph line
your rabbit's foot got left behind
and here's the remainder

i'm breaking down i'm breaking down
i thank God there's no one around
to see me when i get like this
don't tell a soul about my predicament
don't tell a soul about my predicament

yes i've got no credentials
falsified my reports
altered my appearance
in the passport

your honor this leg is hard to stand on
it's been giving me nothing but grief
yes i dwell in this wreckage
but the rent is cheap

earth and sky will soon wear out
Your words will not decay
yeah You come with glorious shout
and tears be wiped away

thought i killed the sin of pride
hundred rounds i must have spent
everywhere i turn my eyes
i'm all over the pavement

it whispers from the furnace
offers a disclaimer
justifies every falsehood
and hands you the remainder

-"Black Crow"

years been cruel i'm going south
the river's high and the bridge is out
this nagging doubt we're all alone
cannot scrape it out of your bones

something young has now grown old
something warm is growing cold
when all the doors are slamming shut
all the windows boarded up

i'm going south it's all i see
don't like what it's doing to me
makes you less than you should be
i'm going south by slow degrees

and another page that we turn
another bridge that we all burn
the safety net i cannot find
another shiny ax to grind

so i love this life and i love your part
i love your eyes honey look in my heart
but here is where it's blown to bits
say your lines and i guess that's it

-"Going South"

i'm a chemistry
of flesh and water
of blood and guts
a savage disorder
i made the wrong move
oh what a bother
ever since then
i've been looking for my father

when this darkness rolls in
i can't read my id
who knows when the sunrise will be

martin luther said
to one of his brothers
except for one instance
no one can die for another
the devil makes me fearful
about my survival
one's gone before
to assure your arrival

sometimes the darkness rolls in
and just takes hold of me
who knows when the sunrise will be

see i feel like barabas
with his sentence reversed
i've got my handgun of conceit
but at least it's registered
and i checked out
my best western motel
i saw a man on the hill
in place of my hell

when the darkness rolls in
it chokes the life out of me
who knows when the sunrise will be

you can count on your charm
revel in your wealth
improve your appearance
hope in your health
houses of cards tumble
and reputations fail
marriages crumble
and interest rates sail

and there's there are no more heroes
and there are no rules of thumb
criminals are pardoned
'cause there's no place to put 'em
and babies are torn
'cause nobody wants them
and whales canonized
by some government program

blind men sad men
dreamers with wishes
paralytics lunatics
and the back street fringes
all find a place
in Your home at Your table
You make them well
'cause You're willing and able

still in the darkness
there's a candle you will see
who knows when the sunrise will be

-"Who Knows When The Sunrise Will Be"

shell-shocked from fright
i stay up half the night
don't you ever feel the curse
in the heartbeat of your universe
and i had a hand my friend
in ushering darkness in
now i wish that even more
i could show it to the door

i hear one day
you will level the cynics rage
ever prayer that's ever been prayed
will surely not be turned away
and no tears shed for dying or dead
that won't be wiped away
justice locked up for weak and poor
will soon come breaking down the door

and Father why do i feel like a casualty
i try to do what i should
but it doesn't do any good does it

i'm at the bitter end of rope
of all my might have beens
and i could be swinging from it
or maybe then again
i could use it wisely
climb out of this pit of snakes
i could use it wisely
to pull up the veil that hides your face

-"Casualty"

is it ok if i cry in your arms
i used to do this kind of stuff when i was young
spent my youth ashamed and alone
with the deaf dumb and blind kind disowned

is it ok if i cry in your arms
i'll try not to stain your pretty blouse
a dam has broken somewhere inside
there was no foundation for the house

if i had more faith if i'd given more love
read better books maybe done the right drugs
the scrape of the blister across the ragged landscape of despair
leaves you all threadbare

is is ok if i cry in your arms
there's so much shit i'd like to forget
honey could we make a deal like our lips are sealed
could this be our ugly little secret

if i had more faith if i'd given more love
seen better movies or done the right drugs
the scrape of the blister across the ragged landscape of despair
leaves you all threadbare

say it's ok if i cry in your arms
you can tell the kids one day when i'm gone
who would enlist if they'd seen the script
you know i tried to warn you about the fine print

if i had more faith if i'd given more love
a b or c hell all of the above
the scrape of the blister across the ragged landscape of despair
leaves you all threadbare

-"Threadbare"